


you never go away

by thearkdelinquents



Category: Anne of Green Gables (TV 1985) & Related Fandoms, Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - To All the Boys I've Loved Before Fusion, Angst, Anne and Gilbert analyzing Lizzy and Darcy hehe, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gilbert trying t figure out his feelings, Love Letters, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pride and Prejudice References, diana knows, everyone knows, kinda lmao, kinda meta, oblivious anne, oblivious gilbert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-17 23:26:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16105976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thearkdelinquents/pseuds/thearkdelinquents
Summary: I think of you often. I look at the sunset over the horizon, the sky dripping in watercolors of red and orange and I think of your hair. Your beautiful hair that you hate so much. Even at night, when there are no colors to bring you to mind, I see the stars and am reminded of the constellations that shine on your cheeks. Even months ago, when I was at sea, I thought of you. I would look at the seemingly bottomless ocean and all I can think about is how it doesn’t begin to reflect the depth of your eyes.Anyway...-Gilbert accidentally sends Anne a love letter. He doesn't know she has it. Then they have to read and analyze the letter Darcy writes to Lizzy in P&P. Oblivious Gilbert & mortified Anne.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS IVE EVER WRITTEN!
> 
> It started out as a kind-of TATBILB au but then I started thinking about Jane Eyre which made me think about Pride & Prejudice and I was like wait a minute, what if Anne read Pride & Prejudice? and THEN I was like, wait a minute, what if they BOTH read Pride & Prejudice??? It gets pretty meta/ironic up in here. 
> 
> title is from the song lovely by Billie Eilish & Khalid

**Gilbert**

_Dearest Anne,_

 

_I hope my addressing you as ‘Dearest’ at the beginning of this letter does not alarm you. If so, the rest of this letter is sure to send you into a state of full-blown panic. I would love to see that, though. You’re so very cute when you get yourself worked up._

_That brings me to the point of this letter. No matter what I see or what I am doing, you’re all I can think about. I am hoping that putting all of my feelings, or at least what I think my feelings are, down on paper will help me compartmentalize and understand them._

_I think of you often. I look at the sunset over the horizon, the sky dripping in watercolors of red and orange and I think of your hair. Your beautiful hair that you hate so much. Even at night, when there are no colors to bring you to mind, I see the stars and am reminded of the constellations that shine on your cheeks. Even months ago, when I was at sea, I thought of you. I would look at the seemingly bottomless ocean and all I can think about is how it doesn’t begin to reflect the depth of your eyes._

_Sometimes when I walk through town I see young couples holding hands and I find myself sad. Not just sad in a general sense but more of a longing. When I see a girl with red hair in braids, my stomach jumps, and I almost call your name but then I realize the hair isn’t quite the right shade of sun-kissed copper._

_I don’t know exactly what this means. Or, maybe I do. Maybe it is as Bash says. I wish I had your gift for words, you always seem to know exactly how to describe and analyze everything. In this instance, I can’t. Hence, why I am writing this. I am hoping putting it all down on a piece of paper will make the feelings more clinical and rational; something I can better make sense of._

_The queerest part of all of these feelings is that I know you do not begin to reciprocate them. We are constantly at each other’s throats, although I don’t mind that. I love getting you worked up. I wouldn’t want to lose in a spelling bee to anyone else. You are so smart, and you push me to be better every single day. Anyway… I think this made me feel better._

_Yours, Truly,_

_Gilbert_

Gilbert sighed and put his pencil down on the table. He looked out the window at the night beyond. Gilbert had tried to go to sleep but again, his thoughts were invaded by a certain red-headed classmate. Tired of the confusion surrounding what it meant, he brought out a lantern, a pencil, and a piece of paper.

 

He looked back down at his words, reading through them again. He supposed he felt better. When he was a child his father always said the best way to understand something is to see it all on paper. So, to try and understand the effect Anne Shirley-Cuthbert had on him, Gilbert decided to try and catalogue it. Looking at the letter, Gilbert thought he understood what he felt, but he didn’t want to dwell on it.

 

Gilbert folded up the letter and put it in an envelope. As he stood from the desk in the corner of his bedroom, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He inched closer and stared at his reflection. Thankfully, he didn’t look as tired as he felt. His dark curls were even more unruly than usual from the tossing and turning in his bed. The top of his head was cut off from the top of the mirror, too tall for it. He had grown a lot in this past year.

 

The house was quiet, Bash and Mary downstairs asleep. It was the middle of the night and here Gilbert was, writing out a letter to Anne about his _feelings_. If Bash knew what he was doing, he would never hear the end of it. Gilbert was almost seventeen and he couldn’t say any of this to Anne’s face. Ridiculous.

 

Putting out the lamp and crawling back into bed, he found his mind was a lot clearer than when he had first tried to fall asleep. His thoughts weren’t pushing around so much in his head, keeping him awake. Thankful he decided to write all of that out, Gilbert pulled the blanket up and closed his eyes, drifting off into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Marilla called Anne down for a letter, she had no idea who it was from. When she saw ‘Anne Shirley-Cuthbert’ written across the envelope in tight, tall script, she knew it was from Gilbert, though. She thought it weird he had written her a letter, but then remembered all the times they had written each other while he was at sea. Written correspondence with him was normal, surely there was nothing out of the ordinary in this letter. Boy, was she wrong.
> 
>  
> 
> I think of you often…those words in particular swam in front of Anne’s eyes as her stomach gave another jerk.
> 
>  
> 
> One thing was for sure, Gilbert Blythe was wrong. Anne was not always good with putting things to words because right now, she couldn’t possibly understand what she was reading or how it made her feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter 2! Thank you so much for reading! I posted this literally the day after I posted chapter 1 because I was just too excited. I'll probably do that with the rest of the chapters because I have no self control.

**Anne**

 

Anne was pretty sure Marilla could hear her heartbeat downstairs. Her stomach had twisted itself into a knot and was doing somersaults. Anne read over the words again. And again. And again until her eyes burned. Anne couldn’t figure out what any of these words meant, it was like they were in a different language. _Well, actually, it’s pretty clear what they mean. He says it all right there,_ a tiny voice in Anne’s head said. She banished that voice, like she always did, and continued to run her finger along the lines of the paper.

 

When Marilla called Anne down for a letter, she had no idea who it was from. When she saw ‘Anne Shirley-Cuthbert’ written across the envelope in tight, tall script, she knew it was from Gilbert, though. She thought it weird he had written her a letter, but then remembered all the times they had written each other while he was at sea. Written correspondence with him was normal, surely there was nothing out of the ordinary in this letter. Boy, was she wrong.

 

 _I think of you often…_ those words in particular swam in front of Anne’s eyes as her stomach gave another jerk.

 

One thing was for sure, Gilbert Blythe was wrong. Anne was not always good with putting things to words because right now, she couldn’t possibly understand what she was reading or how it made her feel.

 

Anne jumped out of bed and grabbed her pinafore, stuffing the letter in the front pocket.

 

“Marilla, I must speak with Diana! It is a matter of utmost urgency!” Anne pulled on her boots and grabbed her hat while Marilla told her to just be on time for dinner. Surely her best bosom friend would be able to make sense of all of this.

 

Diana met Anne in her yard. “Anne! Mother saw you running in and called me down. Is everything alright?”

 

Anne gulped down air, hands on her knees. “Everything… is most certainly… not alright…” Anne pulled out the letter wordlessly and handed it to Diana to examine herself.

 

Anne watched as her friend read the letter. Her eyes widened with shock when she began and then slowly narrowed as she continued while a smirk pulled up her mouth at the corner. By the end of the letter, Diana was grinning from ear to ear and Anne groaned.

 

“What do you think it means?” Anne said, eyes closed to avoid the knowing smile plastered on her friend’s face.

 

“Oh, Anne, you are the smartest girl I know. You know what this means.” Diana was reading over the letter again, drinking in the words like it was the most romantical tale she had ever seen. Anne snatched the letter back (gently) with a huff.

 

“It does not mean what you think it means.” Anne crossed her arms and looked everywhere but at Diana’s face, a blush creeping up her neck.

 

“Anne, it’s pretty clear it does.”

 

“No, it doesn’t.”

 

“ _You’re so very cute when you get yourself worked up_ ” Diana quoted, shocking Anne. Diana giggled as Anne stared at her, agape.

 

“No, no, Diana. It means nothing. Don’t say anything! This letter was dated more than a week ago and he hasn’t said anything to me.”

 

Diana, used to Anne’s willful blindness, only rolled her eyes. “Are you going to say something to him at school tomorrow?” Diana raised her eyebrow at Anne.

 

Oh, Lord Above, Anne hadn’t even thought about that. The thought of talking about any part of this letter with Gilbert face to face made Anne want to fling herself off of a cliff. “I will just pretend I never got it!”

 

“Oh, Anne. Did he bring it to you?”

 

“Heavens, no!” Anne exclaimed. “If Gilbert Blythe had handed this to me himself I would have died of embarrassment. No, Sebastian came by to return Matthew’s spade and gave the letter to Marilla who gave it to me.”

 

“Oh, I see.”

 

“Like I said it was dated over a week ago and he has said nothing to me about it! That means he must have changed his mind. He obviously doesn’t feel this way anymore. He probably didn’t even mean for me to see it! It was probably all just a joke to begin with. Yes, yes, of course, a joke. He could never actually feel this way about me. We are just friends. We argue more than we chat! Yes, that settles it. I won’t say a word of it.” Anne whipped back to face Diana, “And neither shall you!”

 

“No, of course I wouldn’t…” Diana peered at Anne. “Although, Anne, I do think you’re wrong. You’ve got a love letter from Gilbert Blythe and you’re just going to pretend it’s meaningless just to continue this weird dance you two have done around each other for years?”

 

“It’s not a love letter…” Anne grumbled under her breath, digging her toe in the dirt.

 

“Whatever you say, Anne.” Diana was smiling that infuriating smile again and Anne turned to leave.

 

“I have to get back for dinner. I will see you tomorrow.” Anne stalked back to Green Gables, stomach still in knots, with Dianna’s chuckle echoing in her ears.

 

-

 

When Anne woke up the next morning, she thoroughly considered feigning illness. When she first woke up, she didn’t have that godforsaken letter on her mind. At first, it was a morning like any other; bright and full of opportunity. Then, she remembered. She could make her voice sounds raspy and pretend she had a cough. She could tell Marilla she just could not make it to school that day. Then, she got angry with herself. _I will simply die before I let my education be dictated by the presence of a dumb boy!_ With that, she hopped out of bed and got ready for the day. If she took a little more time than usual to arrange her hair it was because she had a fitful sleep, nothing more.

 

Grabbing a biscuit from Marilla on her way out the door, Anne started off to the schoolhouse early. Her and Gilbert had private lessons with Miss Stacy every morning. Just her and Gilbert. And Miss Stacy. Anne started to panic. She had decided she wouldn’t bring up the letter but that didn’t make her any less nervous to see him.

 

 _Nothing has changed_. Anne reasoned with herself. No, nothing has changed. He still looks at her the same way. _He looks at you a lot, though,_ a small voice that sounded remarkably like Diana’s said in the back of her mind. Yes, Anne did find Gilbert staring at her a lot. She pretended to never notice. She assumed it was him looking for ways to get under her skin or flaws to point out. He never did, though.

 

And she did look at him plenty, too, she had to admit. She had noticed he got a haircut when no one else had. Not even Ruby Gillis. But that meant nothing! Anne was just a naturally observant person. She often got in trouble for that at home; pointing out things Marilla deemed superfluous.

 

Her and Gilbert have been spending a lot of time together, now that she thought about it. They had morning lessons and they sometimes sat together at lunch. But that was just to study, Anne reasoned with herself. Every minute they spent together was solely for the purpose of furthering their own educations. If she did look forward to sitting against a tree with him while they poured over textbooks, it was simply because he was the only one in class who would challenge her to learn more. Yes, that was it.

 

With the war raging on inside her head, Anne hadn’t noticed she had made it to the schoolhouse.

 

“Anne!”

 

Anne was snapped out of her reverie by a shout from the boy who had caused all of her inner turmoil. Gilbert was leaning against the schoolhouse door, waving at her. She walked up the steps, unable to form words.

 

Gilbert was smiling at her warmly, holding out an apple. Anne took it and smiled weakly.

 

“Everything alright, Anne?” Gilbert opened the door and stepped back, letting her through.

 

“Yes, everything’s fine! Just tired!” Anne hurried through the door, trying not to look him in the eyes. A blush was creeping up her neck and she was trying to will it away with her mind.

 

The rest of the day continued in a similar fashion. Gilbert looking over at Anne questioningly and Anne staring straight ahead. She knew she was probably acting suspicious and she had promised herself she wouldn’t think of the letter, but it was all she could think about. When she looked at his papers they transformed into the letter lying under her pillow at home. When she saw him bent over his work she imagined him bent over the same letter. She hadn’t realized how often she looked at Gilbert throughout the day until she needed not to.

 

To make matters even more infuriating, Diana sat at Anne’s side, goading her. Every time Gilbert glanced over and Anne froze, Anne could practically feel Diana’s smirk.

 

“Gilbert looks extra handsome today.”

 

“Hush!” Anne whispered fiercely, scared the mentioned party would overhear.

 

Diana only giggled.

 

When Miss Stacy finally dismissed them for lunch, Gilbert came over to Anne while she put her stuff away. Anne hadn’t seen him approach so when she looked up to see him half sitting on her desk, she yelped slightly.

 

He raised an eyebrow in question but ignored it. “Anne, I was wondering if we could have lunch together today? I want you to go over my essay one last time before I turn it into Miss Stacy.”

 

Anne reached over and grabbed Diana’s hand in a vice-like grip as the girl tried to escape and leave Anne gaping. “Oh no, Diana and I have very important matters to discuss today! Sorry, Gilbert!” Anne turned and practically ran, pulling Diana in tow.

 

When they were outside, Diana pulled Anne to a stop. “Anne you’re being ridiculous! And you hurt my arm!”

 

Anne muttered an apology and looked down at the ground. “I just don’t know how to act around him now, it feels so weird.”

 

Diana sighed, rubbing the spot on her arm Anne had clamped down on. “Anne, it’s only weird if you let it be weird. Just pretend nothing happened and you didn’t get the letter, like you said. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to bring it up so maybe he had forgotten about it as well.”

 

Even though Anne had determined to not speak or even think about the letter, Diana’s words still stung a bit. She had told herself Gilbert hadn’t meant to write the letter, or maybe it was a joke, or he probably didn’t feel that way anymore, but a small part of her had hoped he had meant it.

 

“You’re right, you’re right.” Anne shook her head and took a deep breath to clear her thoughts. “If I keep acting this skittish, he will know something is wrong.”

 

Anne sat down under a shady tree, pulling her lunch out of her basket. She let the breeze cool her down and resolutely put the letter out of her mind. Her and Gilbert were friends. Good friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehehehehe
> 
> I would love feedback so please leave a comment!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re going to analyze the importance of letter writing in this novel, especially between Lizzy and Mr. Darcy!”
> 
>  
> 
> Anne’s heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. All at once, the letter she had forced herself to forget came flooding into her mind. Anne glanced over at Gilbert, who was diligently writing down the assignment on a scrap of paper, looking not at all as flustered as Anne felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am weak and saw no reason to keep stringing along updates so here's the rest of the fic!

**Anne**

 

She truly had forgotten about the letter. It had been a couple of weeks since she had gotten it. The letter sat under her pillow, but it was no longer on the forefront of her mind. Lessons and preparation for the Queen’s Academy entrance exam had become her top priority. Anne acted like normal with Gilbert and everything was as it should be. She came to school every morning, he gave her an apple, they had lessons, then started their school day with the rest of the class. Some days they would have lunch together and he would tutor her in algebra while she helped him with his prose. Nothing was out of the ordinary.

 

Until one fateful morning.

 

Anne walked into the schoolhouse with Gilbert like any other morning. Her copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ was tucked into her books. Miss Stacy had asked them both to read and annotate the book and they were to receive their first analysis assignment on it today. Anne had loved every word in the book. The language Jane Austen employed was most diverting. The way Jane Austen used words as flowers and paragraphs as meadows rich in color and diversity made Anne feel the woman was a kindred spirit. Not to mention the story was deliciously romantical. Anne loved every scene between the rough Mr. Darcy and the unique Lizzy Bennet. Anne felt connected to Lizzy in a way few characters had ever grabbed her, and she couldn’t wait to dazzle Miss Stacy with a well written analysis.

 

“Good morning, Gilbert! Good morning, Anne!” Miss Stacy straightened the papers on her desk and greeted them warmly.

 

Anne and Gilbert took their usual seats across the aisle from each other and pulled out their supplies.

 

“For this analysis, I want you to focus on one central theme from the story. One recurring element.”

 

Anne’s mind reeled. Could it be Lizzy’s walks through nature? The importance of the balls?

 

“You’re going to analyze the importance of letter writing in this novel, especially between Lizzy and Mr. Darcy!”

 

Anne’s heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. All at once, the letter she had forced herself to forget came flooding into her mind. Anne glanced over at Gilbert, who was diligently writing down the assignment on a scrap of paper, looking not at all as flustered as Anne felt.

 

“All of the letters come at pivotal parts of the story and display key insights into the character’s emotions. None as important, though, as the one between Lizzy and Darcy.”

 

Anne was pretty sure they could see her blush all the way in Charlottetown. She was beet red.

 

“Also, I would like you to work together on this analysis, turning in one comprehensive essay.”

 

“What?!” Anne squeaked out. Gilbert turned to look at her, the smile on his face dropping. She avoided looking at him.

 

“Well, Anne, you’re going to have to do group assignments in college, so you might as well start practicing now.”

 

“Yes but-“ Anne glanced over at Gilbert, whose eyebrows were scrunched together in confusion. She felt the blush on her face deepen further and she quickly looked back at Miss Stacy. “But Miss Stacy I would much rather do this assignment on my own.”

 

“And why is that, Anne?” Both Miss Stacy and Gilbert were looking at Anne, confused. Rightfully so, she supposed. Her and Gilbert had worked and studied together before, what could possibly be the issue now.

 

“Well, I…” Anne tried to swallow and make her voice sound stronger than it currently did. “I just think I would have a better scope for this analysis on my own.” Anne was determinedly not looking at Gilbert, but she could still see the hurt on his face out of the corner of his eye.

 

“Well Anne, that is not an option. You are to do this assignment with Gilbert and that is final.”

 

Anne looked down and scratched the details of the assignment on a piece of paper. She didn’t think she could blush any harder than she currently was. She saw Gilbert turn towards her and open her mouth to say something, but just then a group of classmates walked through the door.

 

-

 

Anne could tell Gilbert was angry with her. She could see it rolling off of him in waves. He was ignoring her, not even arguing back with her in class. As if working on this assignment wasn’t going to be hard enough, now she was going to have to work on it with him angry at her.

 

When the school day ended, Anne packed up her things and started walking outside with Diana. Just as they started towards the path together, Anne heard Gilbert call her name from behind her.

 

The girls stopped, turning towards Gilbert as he stalked up towards them.

 

“Anne, could I talk to you for a minute?” he glanced at Diana. “Alone.”

 

“I…” Anne stuttered, looking between Diana and Gilbert.

 

Diana looked between the two, Gilbert clearly annoyed and Anne clearly nervous. “Of course. See you tomorrow, Anne.” Diana spared one last look for her friend and started off down the path.

 

When she was out of earshot, Gilbert turned to look at Anne, his hands on his hips. “I get that you think I’m not as smart as you, but you didn’t have to say that in front of Miss Stacy.”

 

Anne’s heart sank for the second time that day. “No, I-“

 

Gilbert threw his hands in the air, exasperated. “I mean, you may think I can’t analyze this story as well as you can, but I can be perfectly romantic, thank you.”

 

Anne snapped her mouth shut, eyes widening.

 

He turned to look at her again, folding his arms across his chest. “Saying that you’d rather work alone is fine but to say I can’t understand this story as well as you can was very rude. And very embarrassing.”

 

No matter what the situation, Anne hated nothing more than to have Gilbert mad at her. “Gilbert, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant.”

 

“Then what did you mean?” He looked at her expectantly.

 

Anne looked around them. They were the only two left in the schoolyard. She tried to come up with an excuse without him knowing the truth. “I just… I don’t know, I’m not used to working in pairs and I was worried my work wouldn’t be as good as yours.”

 

She saw him visibly deflate, his anger at her ebbing away. “Anne, we work together all the time. Your essays are always perfect, that’s ridiculous.”

 

Thankful he bit at the half-lie, Anne looked at the ground hoping he wouldn’t see the relief on her face. “I know. I’m sorry. Truly.”

 

Gilbert sighed, running his hands through his hair. She hated when he did that. It was so distracting. She quickly looked back down.

 

“It’s okay.” He offered her a smile, his anger at her gone. She knew he couldn’t ever stay mad at her long. “Let’s work on it tomorrow at lunch. Okay?”

 

Anne nodded, relieved he wasn’t upset with her anymore, but still dreading having to do this assignment.

 

They said their goodbyes, and both started off back home.

 

Alone in the woods, Anne groaned, long and loud.

 

“Why, in her infinite wisdom, did Miss Stacy have to do this to me?” Anne lamented to the trees around her. When they did not offer an answer or an escape, Anne sighed and continued on to Green Gables.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh! Letters! That reminds me. How could I have forgotten, this was weeks ago, I delivered that letter to Anne you had.”
> 
>  
> 
> Gilbert looked questioningly at Bash, chewing on his food. “Letter?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Yeah, the one you had on your nightstand. I had to grab some socks from your room and I saw the letter as I was on my way out to return the spade to Green Gables so I took it.”
> 
>  
> 
> Gilbert started choking on his food. Mary reached over and patted his back as his eyes watered and he coughed violently. “You what?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert finally knowssssss

**Gilbert**

 

Gilbert followed Anne outside of the schoolhouse and towards their favorite spot to study during lunch. It was a sunny but breezy day, and Anne’s hair pulled loose from her braids and floated around her head. Gilbert smiled at the strands moving in the wind as she walked in front of him. They sat and unpacked their lunches and notebooks, preparing to begin their analysis. Anne sat with her back against their tree, Gilbert lying on his back at her feet.

 

Gilbert noticed Anne was particularly reserved today, and he worried she was upset at him for getting upset with her yesterday. Gilbert figured Anne wouldn’t let him get a word in edgewise since this was, by far, one of the most romantic novels he had ever read. The entire time he read it, he thought of her.

 

Only because she loved romantic tales, of course.

 

“Alright, so, moving onto the letters. They’re the main way the two characters express their feelings for each other.” Gilbert was watching the leaves overhead flutter in the wind, making the sunlight dance above him.

 

“Really? I just don’t think the letters are all that important.”

 

Gilbert looked over at Anne. She was picking at the edge of her napkin, nonchalant. The sun was hitting her hair, making it almost too bright to look at. “You think so?”

 

She looked up, out at the field beside them. “I just mean, there are other ways to express feelings than a letter.”

 

Gilbert sat up, picking at the grass beneath him as he pondered what she was saying. “Yes, I guess that’s true. But when you compare Mr. Darcy’s letter to Mr. Collins, you see how vital the letter is in understanding Mr. Darcy’s sentiments toward Elizabeth.”

 

Gilbert noticed Anne had a slight blush on her face. He feared he had embarrassed her by arguing with her. “But the letter wasn’t really an expression of his feelings…” she said.

 

“That’s true...” Gilbert agreed. Anne sighed, presumably relieved Gilbert was agreeing with her. But he couldn’t just let it go. “But even though he wasn’t explicitly stating his feelings in that letter, the letter still made his intentions for her clear.”

 

“Intentions?” Anne looked at Gilbert as he tried to find his words.

 

“I just mean that even though he may not outright say ‘I’m in love with you’ in the letter, the main message is still that. That letter is the point in which her perceptions of him switch.”

 

Anne just stared at him. Gilbert spurred on.

 

“He realizes that even though she likes romance, he can only appeal to her through logic and understanding. Although he knows she doesn’t regard him in the same way he does her, he writes the letter to explain himself. He tries to give her facts and, whether or not it was his intention, the letter lays himself bare and she accepts him. She begins to love him.” Gilbert turns to look at Anne, who was simply staring at him, frozen. “Don’t you think?”

 

She jumps up and throws her stuff in her basket. “I have to go!”

 

He must have really made her angry. “What?! Anne- Anne, no I’m sorry!”

 

“No, no, it’s fine, I just remembered something I had to ask Miss Stacy about. She fled inside the schoolroom before Gilbert could even make it up off the grass.

 

He felt truly awful now. He knew how sensitive she was and still he sat here, arguing with every point she made. She had never gotten this upset when they argued in class before, though. He sighed and finished his own lunch, reflecting on what exactly went wrong in the last ten minutes.

 

-

 

By the time Gilbert was done chopping wood, he was ravenous. Thankfully, he walked into the kitchen just as Mary was setting the dishes down on the table. The spices flowing through the air and into his nostrils made his mouth water. By far, one of the best decisions of his life was having these two live with him. Their food alone made his life so much brighter.

 

After Gilbert, Mary, and Bash put servings on their plate and said grace, Bash asked about Gilbert’s day.

 

“How’s little Anne-girl?”

 

Gilbert rolled his eyes. Bash was constantly asking about Anne, no attempt to be subtle at all. “She’s mad at me right now, I think.”

 

“Feisty one that one. I’m sure you did something wrong. What’d you do?”

 

“Well, I’m not sure, we were talking about our assignment and she just up and ran. I think it was because I was arguing with her.”

 

“Ah, yeah, that’ll do it. I’ll give you some advice, Blythe. Never argue with a woman.” Bash jerked his thumb back at Mary, who laughed and swatted his arm.

 

“What’s the assignment?” Mary asked.

 

“We have to analyze the importance of the letters in that book I’ve been reading.”

 

“Oh! Letters! That reminds me. How could I have forgotten, this was weeks ago, I delivered that letter to Anne you had.”

 

Gilbert looked questioningly at Bash, chewing on his food. “Letter?”

 

“Yeah, the one you had on your nightstand. I had to grab some socks from your room and I saw the letter as I was on my way out to return the spade to Green Gables so I took it.”

 

Gilbert started choking on his food. Mary reached over and patted his back as his eyes watered and he coughed violently. “You what?!”

 

Bash’s eyebrows knitted together. “Uh, the letter? It was addressed to Anne and I was going that way anyway, so I gave it to her.”

 

Finally swallowing the food, Gilbert sank in his chair, the back of his head hitting the wood. “Oh no no no no no…”

 

He had completely forgotten about that letter he had written. He had noticed it missing from his bedside table, but he had assumed it had fallen under his bed. He never gave it a second thought.

 

“Blythe what’s wrong?” Both Bash and Mary were staring at him concerned.

 

Gilbert pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes closed. “Anne was not supposed to see that letter.”

 

“Why? You confess your undying love to her in it or something?”

 

Gilbert opened his eyes slightly to just stare at Bash. Realization dawned on his face right before the man burst out in raucous laughter.

 

“Gilbert Blythe! You wrote that girl a love letter! An actual love letter!”

 

Gilbert groaned as Bash continued guffawing, Mary swatting his arm even though she was trying, and failing, to hide her own smile.

 

“And then you have to write an essay about love letters!” Bash laughed even harder as Gilbert leaned forward and buried his face in his arms on the table.

 

“She never said anything about it?” Mary asked quietly.

 

“No…” Gilbert mumbled, his voice muffled by his arms. He peeked his head up. “Though it does make sense. She was pretty skittish around me a few weeks ago.”

 

This earned a fresh gale of laughter from Bash as Mary rubbed Gilbert’s arm sympathetically. “Maybe you should talk to her?”

 

“Yeah, Gilbert, that’s probably the best thing. That poor girl is probably all out of sorts over this.” Bash said, finally calming down.

 

“Maybe _you_ should talk to her!” Gilbert said, pointing at his friend. “Since _you’re_ the one who gave it to her!”

 

Bash only laughed again. “You put it in an envelope and wrote her name on it! How was I supposed to know it wasn’t supposed to be delivered to the person it was addressed to?”

 

Gilbert sighed, defeated. Yes, he would have to talk to Anne. But he would do that tomorrow. Or maybe the next day. Right now, he just wanted to sleep and forget this day happened.

 

-

 

Gilbert found, though, that his mind was racing too much to grant him any sleep. Fitting, he thought, seeing as his stupid brain’s inability to quiet down was what originally got him into this mess. As he watched the sky lighten outside his window, he had had enough. He threw his blanket off and grabbed his jacket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, I don't know how, but I miscounted the number of chapters I had written for this! So there are actually 5!
> 
> Please leave some feedback :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Anne…”
> 
>  
> 
> Anne snapped out of her vision as Gilbert, the real Gilbert, stood before her. She realized with a start she had not been imagining him and Gilbert was here, standing here, in front of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE WE GO

**Anne**

 

Anne hadn’t slept at all. Her mind hadn’t stopped racing since lunch the day before. She had tried and tried to put that letter out of her mind, but it was no use. It was all she could think about. The letter, and Gilbert.

 

Exhausted and seeking some form of calm, Anne snuck downstairs to stand in the yard, watching the sun rise out over the fields. The morning was chilly, her blanket wrapped around her. She watched the dew rise up into a fog over the grass as the rising sun warmed it. There was a stillness to dawn that Anne loved. It reminded her today was fresh and new. A blank page on which she could write anything.

 

She supposed it was time to come to terms with how she felt about Gilbert. It was no use lying to herself. Their rocky friendship had grown into something she treasured. She looked forward to every minute they spent together. Every time their eyes connected her stomach gave a lurch. Every time they accidentally brushed hands while studying together, she swore the electricity running through her skin could light up Josephine Barry’s mansion for months.

 

He was her best friend, but he was so much more than that. The letter had really changed something in her. She had gone from blindly ignoring Gilbert and her feelings for him to starting to recognize them for what they were. That terrified her. It terrified her mostly because of how he seemed so indifferent. Whatever he felt when he wrote that letter, she was sure he didn’t feel that way now.

 

He had never brought up the letter to her and had never said anything similar to its contents to her face. She was just a fleeting crush he had and now here she was, yearning for him when he had moved on from it. Yesterday had been torture for her, hearing him practically describe everything she was thinking without realizing what he was saying. Was he teasing her?

 

As she thought of Gilbert, her mind, in its sleep-deprived delirium, started conjuring up images of him. She could just see him strolling across the field towards her, his hair outlined in the sun’s early morning light. She imagined him getting closer to her, scratching the back of his head as he stopped before her.

 

“Anne…”

 

Anne snapped out of her vision as Gilbert, the real Gilbert, stood before her. She realized with a start she had not been imagining him and Gilbert was here, standing here, in front of her.

 

“Gilbert…”

 

The side of his mouth quirked up just a little as she said his name.

 

“I, um… I need to talk to you…”

 

“Oh… Um, about what?” She wasn’t sure what brought Gilbert to Green Gables this early in the morning, but he looked nervous. She wasn’t complaining. Early morning Gilbert was not something she had seen before and she found she liked it, the deeper, rougher edge to his voice, his movements still a little sluggish.

 

“I… wrote you a letter…” He scratched the back of his neck again, looking at his feet.

 

Anne blanched.

 

“I didn’t mean for you to get it, though! Bash saw it and thought it was meant for you and…” He said, finally looking up at her.

 

Her stomach dropped. Of course he hadn’t meant for her to see it. It was a fleeting thing. “No, no, Gilbert of course you hadn’t. I- yes, of course. No, that makes sense.”

 

“I’m sorry, Anne.” Gilbert pleaded with his eyes.

 

Anne wished the ground would swallow her whole. She knew he hadn’t returned her feelings but to hear it from him directly was gut-wrenching. “No, don’t apologize! I realize the letter was written a long time ago!” she stepped away from him, wanting to put more distance between them as she shook her head. “It was just a fleeting thing. You couldn’t possibly actually feel that way about me for long.”

 

Gilbert looked up at her, sharply. “What?” He took a step toward her.

 

Anne took another step back. “I only mean that, you know, no one could feel that way about me for long. Me, personally, I could never make someone feel the way you did in your… letter. I understand you didn’t mean any of it. It’s okay.” Anne lied, feeling tears burn at the back of her eyes.

 

“You think I didn’t mean any of it?” Gilbert looked hurt, now, confusing Anne.

 

“I just- it’s okay! I’m fine! I didn’t ever take it seriously anyway.”

 

“Anne, I meant every single word in that letter.”

 

Anne looked up into Gilbert’s eyes boring into hers. She couldn’t breathe. It was like every particle of oxygen around them had decided, at that moment, that they didn’t want to be there anymore. They all just left.

 

“What?” she whispered.

 

Gilbert took Anne’s hands in his, imploring her to look at him, believe him.

 

“Anne, I think about you all the time. You’re all I think about. I think about you so much it hurts. It hurts to look at you and know you don’t return those feelings. When you smile at me I feel like my chest is going to explode. When you laugh at something I said, I feel like I just got the wind knocked out of me.”

 

Anne’s tears were falling in earnest now. For one of the few times in her life, words were failing her.

 

“I…” Gilbert looked away for just a second, out across the field. Anne could see tears welling up in his eyes, too, as he blinked them away. When he looked back at her, his jaw was set, the way it always was when he was about to say something he took seriously.

 

“Anne, I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Every day, I wake up and I am excited to see you. When it’s not a school day, I spend my mornings trying to come up with every possible excuse I can to come see you. Every word in that letter was true. I am only sorry that I didn’t say it to your face. To hear that you think I don’t mean that? It breaks my heart.”

 

“Gilbert, I-“ Anne looked at the boy she had shared such a long history with. Her heart was cut open and she was bleeding out in this field. Everything in her was pouring out and into the ground, feeding the flowers around them.

 

“No, Anne, it’s okay. I-“

 

“I love you.” Anne blurted out, surprising the both of them. His eyes snapped back into hers, his hands frozen.

 

“You what?”

 

Anne took a breath. She was as sure of this as she was of anything in her life. “I love you,” she said again, firmly.

 

They stood like that, hand in hand, staring at each other in silence for a long moment. Gilbert’s eyes were burning into hers and Anne started to lose confidence. She took a breath to say something but was cut off by the crushing of Gilbert’s lips on hers.

 

She gasped as Gilbert’s hands slipped around her waist and up her back. She brought her hands up and into the hair on the back of his head to deepen the kiss. Their bodies were pressed into each other like they were both trying to squeeze every bit of oxygen out of their bodies.

 

A whine escaped Anne’s throat as Gilbert pulled back to look at her. His pupils were blown wide and he was grinning at her so hard it hurt her own cheeks. Then she realized her smile matched his.

 

“I love you.” He breathed. “I love you.” He said it lightly, like she might fly away if he said it too loud. He whispered it like a prayer. He gave it to her like a present; a piece of his heart wrapped up in a bow just for her.

 

She stood on her tip toes to close the distance between them. Now that she had tasted Gilbert Blythe, she didn’t think any other food could give her sustenance. She knew that this was it. This was the kiss she had been waiting for her whole life. She could feel every cell in her body on fire as they stood there, clinging to each other. The world around them could be burning and Anne wouldn’t notice. Everything else had fallen away and she was anchored to this spot, with him.

 

Nothing else mattered but this boy and this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH! I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it!
> 
> I normally never write fiction but I've found the amount of shirbert fit on this site to be lacking and I just love them so I started writing. Please, please leave feedback! Also, if you have any prompts you want me to write, comment those, too!

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHHH
> 
> this is a chaptered fic, but I already have it all written lmao so I will probably post each of the chapters shortly after each other. The rest of the chapters are much longer than this!
> 
> PLEASE leave kudos and comments, they are the fuel of my narcissistic fire!


End file.
